


The Devious Engineer

by Linorien



Series: 007 Fest 2019 [12]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Dragon!Bond - Freeform, Gen, Wizard!Q
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-06-10 09:38:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19499776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Linorien/pseuds/Linorien
Summary: The town of Venyarla has brought to my attention reports of a demon stalking its town. Rumours include the beast spoiling milk, raiding grain stores, and causing husbands to be unfaithful. I’m sure you’re as doubtful as I am, but I need to show that I am taking the threat seriously.As this is exactly your department, I’m assigning you, and James Bond, to investigate. Report back to me with what you learn.It's another assignment for the Scrawny Wizard and the Intimidating Dragon





	The Devious Engineer

It was looking to be another average day of experimenting with new potions, reading the latest opinions on transformation spells, and an evening of soaring the skies on Bond’s back, when a missive from the queen arrived. The letter flew in through the tower window and impatiently hovered in front of Q’s face, no matter which way he turned. 

Evelyn must’ve asked one of their new wizards in training to put the notice-me-now spell on it. 

Sighing, he snatched the paper out of the air. 

_ Alexander Coriolus Erendol Boothroyd _

_ Crown Prince of Carodale _

_ Duke of the Western Woods _

_ Knight of the Realm.  _

_ Greetings.  _

Why M always insisted on using this ridiculous title when they were family, he would never know. Just call him Q. It would save ink. 

_ The town of Venyarla has brought to my attention reports of a demon stalking its town. Rumours include the beast spoiling milk, raiding grain stores, and causing husbands to be unfaithful. I’m sure you’re as doubtful as I am, but I need to show that I am taking the threat seriously.  _

_ As this is exactly your department, I’m assigning you, and James Bond, to investigate. Report back to me with what you learn. _

It was then signed with a flourish of an M and her even more extensive list of titles. He quickly sent a missive back on his much faster electronic device saying he would look into it. 

First things first, he needed to pack. A demon. He wasn’t exactly sure how to fight a proper demon. Though he doubted that this was one. He grabbed some books off his shelf and tossed them in his bag. Frowning, he grabbed one of his crystals that stored energy just in case it was going to be a difficult battle. He shoved three more stones in his bag as well that had protection charms in them. 

Oh and he would need his cloak. Maybe both of them. One more sneaking around and the other official one that showed his status since this was an official mission. He trudged up the spiral stairs. He didn’t like the official one as much. Too heavy and way too ornate. Tanner said it made him look like a real wizard, which was rubbish. No wizard worth his salt would put meaningless scribbles on a cloak. And certainly not in gold thread; that was expensive. No, his own simple green one was much nicer. Nevertheless, he chucked both out the window and watched as they landed squarely on Bond’s scaled head. 

Bond started from his nap with a twitch of his ears and then a full movement of his head shooting up and scanning for threats. He shook his head, tilting it back to dislodge the offending fabric. That’s when he saw Q leaning out the castle window. 

He huffed, twin tendrils of smoke coming out of his nostrils. “I was having a perfectly good nap down here,” he rumbled in that low voice of his. 

“We’ve got a mission.”

“Didn’t we just have one last week?” James complained. “I can still smell the stench of wolf on you. Makes it very hard to resist eating you when you’re being annoying.”

“But you always say you want to eat me.”

“Exactly.”

Q just shook his head and resumed packing. “Anyway it’s not my fault the werewolf pissed on me. You were supposed to warn me of anyone coming. But instead I had to stay transformed as a tree to avoid suspicion. How that town tolerates werewolves but not any other form of magic is beyond me.”

“I did try to warn you, but you said you were busy turning sunlight into food.”

“Well I was! Being a tree takes a lot of energy.” He stepped out through the trap door onto the roof of the tower. “And if I could figure out how the trees turned light into energy, then I could work some real magic.”

“Which is why it’s your fault you got peed on.” He tossed his head and sent the cloaks flying up to Q who caught them. “Where are we going?”

Q put on his green cloak. “Far west. We’ll need to camp part way.”

James lumbered a few paces away from the tower to spread his wings before launching himself into the air. “Best get going then.” He flew up and spiralled around the tower a couple times until he was low enough for Q to leap off the tower and land firmly on his back. Then they flew west. 

***

The next day, James and Q circled the village from high, getting a quick lay of the land. All the houses were centered around a village circle. A small church was slightly offset from the main homes next to a mill and a river. Even further away, was one solitary house, with no path leading to it. 

There was also a helpful clearing in the forest for them to land. 

Q reluctantly changed into his official robes. He’d leave most of his stuff here with James, only taking his aura reader and his pendant to contact James if he had need of a rescue. As it was an official mission, he shouldn’t need to sneak in like he was used to doing. Squaring his shoulders, he walked out of the woods and approached the village on a well worn path, striding confidently. This was official business. 

The village was quiet. Too quiet for a village of its size. There should be people working the fields, kids playing in the grass, women chatting. There was none of that. It wasn’t until Q actually entered the village that he saw another person. 

A door on one of the larger homes opened and a man called out. “You! Are you from the capitol?”

“Yes. I was sent by the queen.”

He beckoned furiously. “Come inside. Quick!”

Q furrowed his brows, but walked over and entered the building. The villager shut the door quickly behind him and bolted the door. Multiple times. Someone else handed Q a symbol he recognised as one to warn off evil. Q looked around and realised there were a lot of people crowded into this one room. If he had to guess, he’d say it was the whole village. “What’s going on here?”

There were a couple looks exchanged. “So you’re not the one who's come to rid us of the demon?” asked the villager who let him in. 

“I am. I just expected,” he trailed off, not wanting to tell all of the clearly frightened people that they were idiots and it was stupid superstition. “I wasn’t given many details. Please tell me everything you know.”

“Right.” The man led Q over to a bench on the side of the room and gestured for him to take a seat. “It began four months ago. There’s an old witch’s cottage on the edge of the village. No one’s lived there since the prince was born. We didn’t chase her out or anything, she just died of old age. Nothing against simple magic, you see. But no one wanted to live way out there.”

Q nodded, he knew there hadn’t been an outright ban on magic when he was born, but it did fall out of favor. The queen hadn’t exactly been pleased to learn his father has consorted with a faerie. Especially when her own child was a stillborn. 

“So four months ago when people started hearing noises from the cottage and seeing lights, it was strange. At first we thought it might have been the kids, playing pranks when they ought to have been working, but none of them admitted to it. I myself thought it may have simply been animals. Mrs Hanrond,” he nodded in the direction of an older woman sitting with two small children on her knees, “thought it might have been a poor traveler who had been searching for shelter. She went over with a basket of food, to offer community. But it wasn’t a man, but a demon who opened the door.” He whispered the last bit, as if not wanting to scare the children. 

Q glanced over at Mrs Hanrond. She shook her head and mouthed, “it wasn’t right.”

“I took some men the next day to kill the beast. Loaded up our guns with the best bullet and took our knives in case. It was fearsome, I tell you.”

“What did it look like?” Q asked. Obviously they hadn’t killed the creature, but it sounded like they had actually seen it. There was something to this threat, not just an occult presence that they blamed their own sins upon. 

“A wicked creature to say the least. It wears the guise of a young woman, a seductress. It’s been tempting the weaker lads, which is why we’ve locked ourselves in here. Angular face, hideously thin body, must not eat enough though I don’t want to know what a beast like that eats, and tall too. I looked directly into its green eyes. I had the priest purify my soul afterwards of course.”

“Of course.”

“Don’t let its looks fool you though. Poking out of the wild mess of hair is a set of fearsome horns. Like the devil himself. May the Lord protect you in your battle.”

Right. So a pretty girl had horns. 

“What happened when you tried to fight her?” Q asked. “You did say you went over there with guns, right?”

“We tried to shoot it, of course, but the bullets didn’t cross the doorway. Stopped right in the air and fell to the ground. I threw my knife, but it stepped out of the way wicked fast. We ran after that. Much too powerful for simple farmers such as ourselves. That’s why we’re glad you’re here sir.”

He was glad too. Who knows what they may have tried next. Perhaps something that may have actually worked. Q stood up. “It sounds like I best get started right away. Which way to the cottage?”

“I’ll go with you part way.”

“No. I work best alone. Just point me in the right direction.”

***

It was a short walk really. Q watching his aura reader while he walked, but it wasn’t finding anything particularly powerful. It was actually beginning to measure weak electrical signals. It grew stronger as he approached the cottage. He walked around it once. There were slight fluctuations but the strongest signal was right at the front door. 

He tucked the reader into his pocket and knocked firmly on the door. “Hello?” he called out in what he hoped was a friendly tone. “I don’t wish to hurt you. Just talk.”

The door opened. She was beautiful. Finer than any of the nobles he’d been forced to dance with at that last ridiculous ball M refused to let him skip. His mind stuttered for a moment and his mouth opened on its own. “I like your electromagnetic field.”

She grinned. Not a malicious grin, though her teeth were pointed, but the grin of knowing someone else recognised your hard work. “Not many people know what it is.”

His brain working again, he introduced himself. “I’m Q. Wizard and Engineer. I’m not like most people.”

She reached through the doorway to shake his hand. “My name is Ralaxicarithgar. Call me R. I dabble in magic but mostly electronics. Fancy a cup of tea?”

***

It was a perfect friendship. Both of them scorned outcasts with a passion for learning. She came back with Q to the castle and he convinced M to hire her. Suddenly Q had someone that reported to him. At least in writing. They both taught each other and held each other accountable. R was also a lot better than Q at remembering to set up protections before they began crazy experiments. A fact which James was grateful for. 

And Q was glad that R seemed happy here. She was so happy some days she even glowed. From her feet all the way to the tips of her long, curled, totally awesome horns. 

They were now a team of the scrawny wizard, the devious engineer, and the intimidating dragon.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this, this is part of a fantasy universe that the 00Q chat brainstormed years ago. It was designed to be a world for multiple people to play in. Please do [ and add more to this world!](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/00QFAU)


End file.
